Half Term In Tier 3 And Mum Guilt – 5 Things To Know About Motherhood This Week

When I first became a mum, I had huge expectations of exactly the type of parent I would be. There were moments where I used to think the TV wouldn’t be a babysitter, that my child wouldn’t be using an iPad, and let’s not forget the visions I had of my child eating only nutritious food and wouldn’t be the chocoholic he is today. But fast forward to today and I am not that mother, far from it. There are things that have turned out great, but there are situations that I assumed I would react differently to.

1. Mum guilt will never leave you

Being in some form of lockdown due to Covid-19 since the end of march has taken its toll, there is no denying that. Mum guilt would always rear its ugly head every now and again, but this year has certainly taken the biscuit. This week has been half term, and in tier 3 restrictions mixed with typical Manchester weather, it has been tough. We have had to stay at home. With our baby being 7 months old, she’s full on right now, and with a 7 year old boy that wants stimulation and attention, I have felt stretched. The guilt has been unreal. Logan has spent way too many hours playing fortnite, and not enough time spent with me. The mum guilt reached a climax come Halloween, with no trick or treating allowed, I genuinely felt like I’d let my son down. It wasn’t my fault. It was out of my control. But yet here was the guilt once more. I ended up creating some sort of make shift spooky Halloween bath time surprise with slime. Logan seemed to love it and it eased the guilt momentarily. Mum guilt will never leave you, but know this that there will be times when it peaks and when it subsides. Don’t let it get to you!

2. You cannot fight your sons battles

We are at that stage right now with Logan where he is loving playing video games and talking to his friends online. Fortnite is the game of choice, and while I am not so keen on the game itself, or the amount of time I let him play on it, queue mum guilt once more, it certainly got us through lockdown and times after school where I have felt torn between my children. The one thing I have had to learn, especially this week it seems, is that I can’t fight my sons battles. As much as I want to. Being kicked out of games, hearing them say to leave him out. It’s not easy. Don’t be fooled, Logan can be just as bad, but all I want to do is put that headset on and say stop it! I can’t fight his battles. He needs to learn that actions have consequences, and subsequently that things won’t always go his way. I know I have more battles of this nature to come, and will have to resist the urge of interference again in the future.

3. Meal planning helps, do it more often

There has been way too many nights this week that I have scrambled to the cupboards wondering what I am going to cook for tea. It’s a short and simple solution, meal plan. Write it down, stick to it, and shop in advance. When I do it, and I stick with it, there is less stress, less pressure. Will I ever learn?

4. I am not a Pinterest mum, and that’s okay

Who else scrolls through pinterest and gets many ideas of crafts, bakes and play inspiration thinking that they can do the same? Me! Am I the only one? Pinterest is a great site. I love it. But I have to be honest, I am just not a pinterest mum. I long to be able to do the crafts, and create the wonderful things I longingly browse through on a Sunday morning. However, I just can’t do it. This week I tried to create my own wrapping paper for my husbands birthday. Hand prints of Logan’s and Luna’s footprints. In my head, it was going to look amazing. While the end product looks, at best, mediocre, the carnage of creating it was something else. Logan was easy to sort out. He did his handprints, then straight in the bath. Great! Luna was more difficult. How do people manage to get wonderful prints of their babies hands and feet? It ended in tears, me and Luna. The thought was there, I guess.

5. That no matter how terrible you think you are, your children don’t have the same view

Tonight, as I tucked my son up in bed, I apologised for being such a rubbish mum recently. I’ve not had much patience recently, and I have felt so guilty because of the current situation, the changes in his life, and well, having a new baby has stretched me more than I thought it would. He simply said that I wasn’t a rubbish mum, that I was the best mum ever! He loved his slime bath that I panic ordered through Amazon Prime, he’s loved having extra time on his game, and he understands more than I give him credit for that things are hard right now. I’m the best mum to him, he’s happy with me, and well, what more can I ask for?

So there you have it, five things on motherhood this week. Have a great week ahead.

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  1. November 2, 2020 / 8:35 am

    This is such an honest post and one ALL mums can relate to. My son is nearly 13 and it feels like Mum guilt steps up but I remind myself that he is becoming his own person and actually doesn’t want me as much now.

    • admin
      November 2, 2020 / 11:06 am

      Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. It seems mum guilt will just never leave you. Sounds like you manage it really well. 🙂

  2. November 2, 2020 / 1:51 pm

    Oh chick, it really was hard last week, the weather in Manchester was horrible… however, we’ve made it! This year is extremely tough and you are doing an amazing job… just look at that Spooky bath, that is awesome! We have some spare huge glowsticks, so may try that myself next time! 🙂 Sim x

    • admin
      November 2, 2020 / 2:05 pm

      As thank you and yes you are right, we made it to the end and school is back on (for now)definitely recommend the glow sticks in the bath, I am going to do that sort of thing more often. Went down really well. Hope you are ok and thank you for taking the time to read and comment. 🙂

  3. November 2, 2020 / 3:51 pm

    It must be so hard when you have kids to try and keep them occupied and understanding of what is going on in the world right now.

    • admin
      November 4, 2020 / 2:36 pm

      It is so tough right now. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

    November 2, 2020 / 8:49 pm

    I’m not a pinterest mum either. I wish I had the time but it’s a struggle to juggle working from home, 3 kids, and all the things that need doing in the home.

    • admin
      November 4, 2020 / 2:37 pm

      The juggle of working and children is real and often can be so tough. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

  5. November 3, 2020 / 10:55 am

    So true when you say that no matter what you think of yourself, your kids think better of you! I am guilty of all these you have mentioned too and always struggle to cook during the term break so meal planning is a must for me

    • admin
      November 4, 2020 / 2:36 pm

      Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I really wish we could view ourselves through our children’s eyes sometimes. We would be so surprised. Hope you get back onto the meal planning.

  6. November 3, 2020 / 4:44 pm

    I am so not a pinterest mum either – everyone laughs at my crafting attempts.

    • admin
      November 4, 2020 / 2:35 pm

      I am glad I am not the only one. I really wish I didn’t have such high expectations of myself 🙂 thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

  7. November 3, 2020 / 10:31 pm

    Love the Halloween bath! My kids would love something like that – although I’m not sure I’d want to clear it up!

    • admin
      November 4, 2020 / 2:34 pm

      It was actually really easy to clean, you add more water and it dissolves away. Thanks so much for taking the time ot read and comment.

  8. Joanna
    November 4, 2020 / 4:25 pm

    I think that all parents are great, and you should give yourself some credit for raising such beautiful children. Letting your son play online games one hour longer so you can have time to do something for yourself for example, doesn’t make you a bad mom. It’s one hour in which you can relax, in order to come up with such a great idea such as a slime bath.

  9. Melanie williams
    November 4, 2020 / 7:25 pm

    I can only imagine how hard it has been for you, but hang on in there you are doing a fab job and I hopefully that trick or treat will be ok in some form for 2021. x